Cravings

I am writing this as I sit at the kitchen counter staring at the angel food cake. It is 10:38pm and way past the hour that I am supposed to eat. This summer I have had many vocal issues due to stomach problems and allergies. Being a singer, this can be especially frustrating. I have to be intentional about every bit of food I let into my body and avoid eating late at night. For someone who loves food, this is a struggle. I have failed so many times just because the hunger pangs are much louder than the reality of my consequences. I quickly forget that my decision could cause me to go hoarse for days with just a slip up of self control in my eating habits. Isn't it true for us spiritually? The cost of giving into our flesh can have such deep effects but when we are in the moment of temptation, it is so easy to give in. God is teaching me that there is power in discipline and self-control. It is so clear and easy to understand but hard to apply: eat bad food or eat late at night and lose your ability to sing with ease. Yet time and time again I am tested and fail miserably! I put myself through so much misery just because I choose to let the flesh rule my decisions! BUT when I choose to say no to my cravings, I am able to sing freely and worship freely!! When we say no to our flesh's cravings and yes to our Spiritual health, we are given tremendous power, freedom, and ability. We are able to accomplish great things through the Spirit that could never be attained while bound to the flesh. Yes, of course God can use me in other ways without my voice... But my voice was given to me for a reason and purpose... What sorrow it would be to not experience my purpose because of my disregard to apply the truth.  It is up to us to decide how much reign we will give the Holy Spirit in our lives. Are we going to live in freedom, purity, and joy, with authority over the flesh and knowledge that we are fulfilling our true purpose? Or will we remain wayward, confused, and crippled by the flesh? Spirit move in me and strengthen my spirit. Give me discipline to apply your truth. Help me to burn off the things of my flesh and teach me to crave YOU instead!

A little post on big prayers...

"Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24

I cannot even begin to express the extent of miracles God has worked this week through expectant hearts. I have seen so many posts of medical miracles, experienced answered prayers for rain (which we received in abundance), and experienced little miracles throughout the week due to people praying with an expectant heart. So many times we are told to pray like this, "God, if it is your will to heal, let it be done." While it is so important to surrender to His will, I sometimes think we use this prayer as a cop-out because we are afraid to ask expectantly. I truly believe God desires stretch our faith much more than that. He says, "Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him." (Mark 11:23 ESV). He wants to shake things up, and He moves when we pray but it is up to us to let go of ourselves and our worldly mindset to let Him shake things up! He wants us to know the power of the Holy Spirit within us and the joy of knowing His heart for us! May we start approaching the throne both with reverence and boldness! Pray with expectation. 

Motorcycle Driveby

"I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive!"

These lyrics are the anthem of my summer! Okay, I know the song is packed with all kinds of break-up emotions, but let's be honest.. Life comes with hurts! Although the aches I feel do not coincide with the entire song (or a breakup/romance for that matter haha) I do like its depiction of life's bittersweet reality. Wrestling with aches and joys, God keeps reminding me that HE came to give me abundant life. He is the Good Shepherd and sacrifices just so I may know His love for me. "Summertime and the wind is blowing outside in lower Chelsea and I don't know what I'm doing in the city, the sun is always in my eyes... I go home to the coast it starts to rain I paddle out on the water alone, taste the salt and taste the pain... Summer dies, its swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes, see this rolling wave darkly coming to take me home." Life comes with confusion. Even when we feel like we have defeated a battle, the taste of pain can still well up when we least expect it. It's these moments I am learning to cherish. These occasions when I am sitting on the seas, trying to enjoy the breeze and view but with a salty taste hanging on my tongue. The bittersweet reminds me how I desperately need my Good Shepherd to fill me, lead me, and give me His life, His joy, His love! These moments of heartache are contrasted by the Healer. Confusion opposed by adventure. Dark skies pierced by starlight. Bitter tastes redeemed by sweet sunsets. Loneliness excluded by finding refuge in The Father.

"And there's this burning, just like there's always been. I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive!"  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that I want to keep burning. Even though it may be painful and grueling, I don't want to just survive life numbly... I WANT to LIVE. I want to be fueled by life's challenges. I pray that the deeper my pain, the higher my love for The Lord. The greater my void, the more freedom I experience. Help me to feel and burn Lord!!! I don't want to just be content, I want to thrive! May I be so filled and overflowing with You!!! Open my eyes so that I may trust You and know You more! 

"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep... I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me." (John 10:10, 11, 14 NLT)