Motorcycle Driveby

"I've never been so alone and I've never been so alive!"

These lyrics are the anthem of my summer! Okay, I know the song is packed with all kinds of break-up emotions, but let's be honest.. Life comes with hurts! Although the aches I feel do not coincide with the entire song (or a breakup/romance for that matter haha) I do like its depiction of life's bittersweet reality. Wrestling with aches and joys, God keeps reminding me that HE came to give me abundant life. He is the Good Shepherd and sacrifices just so I may know His love for me. "Summertime and the wind is blowing outside in lower Chelsea and I don't know what I'm doing in the city, the sun is always in my eyes... I go home to the coast it starts to rain I paddle out on the water alone, taste the salt and taste the pain... Summer dies, its swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes, see this rolling wave darkly coming to take me home." Life comes with confusion. Even when we feel like we have defeated a battle, the taste of pain can still well up when we least expect it. It's these moments I am learning to cherish. These occasions when I am sitting on the seas, trying to enjoy the breeze and view but with a salty taste hanging on my tongue. The bittersweet reminds me how I desperately need my Good Shepherd to fill me, lead me, and give me His life, His joy, His love! These moments of heartache are contrasted by the Healer. Confusion opposed by adventure. Dark skies pierced by starlight. Bitter tastes redeemed by sweet sunsets. Loneliness excluded by finding refuge in The Father.

"And there's this burning, just like there's always been. I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive!"  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that I want to keep burning. Even though it may be painful and grueling, I don't want to just survive life numbly... I WANT to LIVE. I want to be fueled by life's challenges. I pray that the deeper my pain, the higher my love for The Lord. The greater my void, the more freedom I experience. Help me to feel and burn Lord!!! I don't want to just be content, I want to thrive! May I be so filled and overflowing with You!!! Open my eyes so that I may trust You and know You more! 

"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep... I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me." (John 10:10, 11, 14 NLT)